Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Truth About Lies

Its all lies. Well told. Lately i had been telling lies. To my family, that i already have a job, to my friends, that everything is going just fine and even to myself, that everything is gonna be ok. But the truth just couldnt be denied. The proofs and flaws would always come out amidst sophisticated but fabricated stories.

Its a desperate move to save what is left of my reputation. Its an unfairly cunning way to protect what needs to be protected. Its a lot pretending that i could have really missed. Its big deal denial that i could really be vulnerable, dispensable and tortured. But the truth just hurts awfully. I dont wanna feel.

I am a sandcastle being washed away by the gentle waves. I am a leaf whose holding on tightly to a dried tree branch amodst the hard blowing wind. I am a fading candlelight in the enveloping darkness. I know these kind of things would only attract pity on me so better if nobody knows. I could bear all the pains but to have someone feeling sorry for what i have become is something that is much harder to take.

Life could not bring a good man down. I believe the things that i am going through would only be temporary and soon enough i would be way up the wheel of fortune. But before that, theres still plenty of things to act upon or should i say lies to be told. Guess i am not really telling lies, i am just making an assumptions for things that are yet to come. That is, counting the chickens even before they are hatched.

I have always been a rock personified. To show that i am breaking and deteriorating could mean more than a personal defeat but hope lost for who look up to me for guidance and support. It if takes to lie just to keep the norms, i would be willing to tell more. Necessary evil, i dont think so, its just that sometimes, we need to do something we are not supposed to do in order to avoid a happening which are not supposed to happen.

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