The Sea Inside

We are in turbulent times. The recent onslaught of typhoon Ondoy which has put the Philippines in a global subject of financial support is just a major sign of things to come. After the storm, many were left homeless, lives were claimed, properties were damaged, the actual scope of Ondoy's wrath is immeasurable. The "Great Flood" is what they have called it, almost the sea trying to engulf the bustling jungle of human settlement. While the rain poured hard to drown the sins of the world, there was no silence heard, there were cries, loud and screaming, there were shouts for help and rescue, there were weeps, endless and heartbreaking.

I, too, is in a middle of a storm. Before I think it's even over, I am already broken and hurt. I got mistakes and I battled the storm. But you can't. I couldn’t. Why do we experience storms? Why do the seas need to embrace the earth in such unsweet manner? Maybe we have wronged, maybe we have acted too much, maybe it just want us to realize that we should have loved and not only lived, that everything in this world has a purpose, has a feelings that could be hurt.

Many nights I have cried and my own seas slapping my face with gentle kisses of salty water. A little piece of hope is what keeping me still breathing and moving on. Hope that someday people that I have hurt will ever forgive me. I have decided to move on in silence. Let the storm pass. I have nothing left to lose. All was taken away. I was cleansed of the stubbornness. I am moving on in silence. I hope there I could meet peace.

Recently, a life long dream of mine has already been fulfilled, that is, to be at least mentioned in a blog award. Not everyone knows but I actually started blogging in 2004 back in time when most were still unfamiliar with blogging as a way of life. I think it's time to get a low. The vast and endless horizon of the sea inside me is wanting for reflection and absence from learning eyes. Till then..