Forgiven & Forgotten
I have always marveled at people who could forgive and forget; those who could forgive and essentially move on out of the pains like they had never been hurt. In all of my human abilities, I believe that this is one that I am totally weak to do so. For the adage in my nerves has always been "forgive but never forget". That is what it pays to be gifted with very good memories, not that I remember more, only that I don't forget much.
As is typical, things that happened, especially the painful ones of any origins, is logged in a wrinkle in my brains where it lays dormant, waiting for the moment of necessary recall to strike. I can let go of things, get passed certain frustrations or pains, get on with my life and be happy, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the disappointment in someone or the pain they've caused. Somewhere along, I still feel the twinge of sadness or anger that the offense has left behind, I have just moved on.
I have heard stories of people who became good friends with people who have caused them pain saying that they have forgiven them for all their transgressions and offenses. I nod in disagreement. Perhaps I'm too old, set in my ways, or immature, but that makes no sense to me. Maybe they're just lying. It all seems like they are deluding themselves. Maybe it will be easier to say you've forgiven the wrongdoer, to ease the other person's guilt and to end the discussion and move on separately with your lives.
As is typical, things that happened, especially the painful ones of any origins, is logged in a wrinkle in my brains where it lays dormant, waiting for the moment of necessary recall to strike. I can let go of things, get passed certain frustrations or pains, get on with my life and be happy, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the disappointment in someone or the pain they've caused. Somewhere along, I still feel the twinge of sadness or anger that the offense has left behind, I have just moved on.
I have heard stories of people who became good friends with people who have caused them pain saying that they have forgiven them for all their transgressions and offenses. I nod in disagreement. Perhaps I'm too old, set in my ways, or immature, but that makes no sense to me. Maybe they're just lying. It all seems like they are deluding themselves. Maybe it will be easier to say you've forgiven the wrongdoer, to ease the other person's guilt and to end the discussion and move on separately with your lives.
Either way, as I've stated above, I'm not good at forgiveness in its truest sense. Mention a past hurt and the ache of disappointment will swell once again, though thankfully not to the level of the original moment, but still. So, perhaps another adage is more correct: Time heals all wounds. Well, I don't think it heals; it just puts a lot of new memories in to fill the gaps and soften the shock and power of the bad ones.
Anyway, this is what I've been mulling over lately. And I realized in the middle of things that's going around me that it's time to let go. I could never be forgiven for all my indifference and offenses unless I myself have learned to let all my hurts and pains go with the wind. I could never achieve genuine peace if I live with hatred. Forgive? sounds good. Forget? Best idea. I wish us all peace.
11 comments:
forgiveness, like love have been used and abused that they lost their true meanings..
i know what the bible say that we must forgive 77 times a day or there abouts...but really how impossible when the people who hurt us don't even ask for forgiveness?..they go on their merry way as if nothing happened....and if we expect them to be sorry, we go on suffering because most of the time they only say sorry so they can continue to be around us..so really, we end up clinging on to the pain...
in my case, i decided not to forget and not to forgive...to others it may sound arrogant.. but the only person i forgive is myself for allowing myself to be in the presence of those whose ambitions in life is to belittle me and to bring me down...
to my mind, forgiving others who brought me pain means clinging on to the pain..that is not how i want to spend the rest of my life with...take care of you..oxoxo..
It is really difficult to extend the leaf of forgiveness to others... because forgiveness is a gift from God, it takes faith to forgive and forget.
The power of forgiveness starts from our heart, faith grants an opportunity to free you of pain and anger that has built up over time.
Forgiveness moves you from focusing on a past hurt into the present. You may not forget the hurtful event, but you can move on with your life.
And I think probably it’s our lack of compassion with ourselves that makes us so upset with others and the same reason that's why we cannot let got of the past.
Forgiveness is a virtue and it needs faith have it practiced.
God bless.
Napaisip tuloy ako, kaya siguro God allows dementia to conquer the cerebrum of a human's brain because many of us can forgive but can never forget...
Kuya George (the pope) said it all. it really takes a great amount of faith to forgive coupled with so much time to heal the pain...
i wish you find a space in your heart to truly forgive and enjoy all the best that life is offering you!
When we were young, we were thought by our parents how to forgive.
When we were young, we can easily forgive and forget as well.
Why? Because we were not yet exposed to the world's reality.
Ngayong medyo may katandaan na tayo at marami nang alam sa mundo medyo mahirap na sa atin to forgive and to forget. Kasi alam na natin kung paano masaktan.
Kahit ako, kung ako yong nasa sitwasyon mo, hindi ko rin patatawarin ang hinayupak na yan na walang ibang ginawa kundi puro paninira..
first of all, congratulations for being a finalist to Philippine Blog Awards! i'm so proud and happy for you! (nakikisaya naman ako sa kasiyahan mo, nde lang halata)
back to your post 'forgiven not forgotten', naalala ko ang lagi kong sinasabi sa inyo ni XXX (name withheld) pag nag-aasaran tayo noon galing sa work- "wag na wag ninyo akong aawayin kasi ako nagtatanim ng sama ng loob". nde din madali sa akin ang magpatawad at lumimot sa mga taong nakasakit talaga sa akin. usually sila ang mga taong naging close ko talaga, mga kaibigan, mga importanteng tao sa buhay ko. sa aking karanasan, natutunan ko na madali lang ang magpatawad at lumimot pag matibay ang pundasyon ng isang samahan. isa lang itong simpleng pagsubok.
seryoso, umaasa ako na sana pagsubok lng ang nangyari. nae-excite ako sa isipin na pwedi pa rin tayong magsama-sama sa isang lugar just like the good old times! nakaka-miss! :-(
cia, baka maiyak pa ako dito. basta paalala lagi, wag naman nating kalimutan ang ating pinagsamahan. Kay XXX, kung mabasa mo man ito, tawagan/email mo ako at pag-usapan natin ito..hehe. UMAYOS KAYO! :-)
-isang kaibigan-
[b]Ang kaligtasan ng kaluluwa ay nakasalalay sa Diyos sa Kanyang biyaya at pinaalam niya sa lahat ang daan sa kaligtasan,
na ng tanggapin mo si Hesus bilang iyong Panginoon at Tagapagligtas, Ito ay hindi nabibili ng pera o natutumbasan ng anumang gawa, relihiyon, o tradisyon. (Epeso 2:8-9)
Tulad ng iba na nabulag ni satanas ng mga maling doktrina at hindi umuunawa sa Salita ng Diyos, walang taong perpekto at lahat ay nagkasala at di nakaabot sa kalwualhatian ng Diyos (Roma 3:10).
Hindi natin matutumbasan ang ginawa ni Hesus sa krus ng kalbaryo(Juan 3:16), na kung ibabatay tayo sa ating mga gawang tama bagsak pa rin tayo dahil tayo ay nagkakasala araw araw, malaki man o maliit at ang magtanggi nito ay isang sinungaling…
Lahat ng tao ay marumi at walang marumi na nakakapasok sa langit, walang taong nabuhay sa mundong ito na malinis liban kay Kristo.
Na sa Kanyang perpektong sakripisyo (Ang mahal niyang dugo) na naglilinis at nag- aalis ng kasalanan sa tao.
[u]Siya ang tubig ng buhay na nagbibigay buhay, nakakapagligtas at kapanganakan muli sa Spiritu (Juan 3:3), Siya ang daan, ang buhay at katotohanan (Juan 14:6)[/u]
Alay niya ay buhay na walang hanggan sa langit sa mga nanampalataya, ito ay pangako ng Diyos na hindi makapagsisinungaling (Tito 1:2).
Lahat ng sumampalataya ay nagbubunga ng mabuti at mananatili hanggang sa katapusan, at gagantimpalaan ng Diyos ang nagtatapat sa Kanya.
Sa mga makasalanan na hindi tumanggap sa Panginoong Hesu- Kristo imbis nagtiwala sa kanilang mga gawa ay ibubulid sa lawa ng apoy ang Impyerno kasama si satanas na nandaya at kanilang sinundan.
(Takenote: sa aklat ng santiago)
“Na sinasabing ang pananampalatayang walang gawa ay patay…”
In response sa mga di nakakaunawa ng mga salitang ito na si Apostol Santiago po ay nakikipag usap sa mga MANANAMPALTAYA, sa mga tumanggap na kay Hesus bilang Panginoon at Tagapagligtas, ang Iglesia na binubuo ng mga ligtas hindi nakikipag usap si santiago sa mga di naman ligtas at di naman nakakaunawa sa Salita ng Diyos dahil hindi sila ginagabayan ng Banal na Spiritu.
“Si Santiago ay tumutukoy sa Pananampalatayang nagbubunga o ang kanilang mga testimonya bilang mga tinawag na KRISTIANO… bilang mga sumusunod kay Kristo na kanilang sinampalatayanan at tinanggap.
Kasi may mga nagkukunwaring Kristiano daw sila pero nakikita sa kanilang mga buhay at bunga na hindi matuwid at makasanlibutan, sila na mga bulaan, mga ipokrito, at nagmamalinis lamang.
at nakakalungkot na maraming tao ang ganyan, wala akong sinabing lahat ng Kristiano ay perpketo kung mamuhay at di na nagkakasala sa panahon ngayon.
Pero nais ng Diyos na gawin natin ang tama sa ating makakaya at manatili sa ating Pananampalataya, dahil ang Diyos ay mabuti at matuwid sa Kanyang mga hatol…
Kaya nawa ay mamulat na ang mga ibang tao sa mundong Kristiano kuno, lalo na ang ibang pinoy na sumusunod sa maling turo ng mga bulaang mangangaral upang iligaw sila at makikita naman kung ano sila sa kanilang buhay dahil na rin sa mga maling doktrinang sinusunod nila sa kanilang mga buhay.
Ito ay hindi upang sirain ang mga iba kundi imulat ang mata ng mga tao sa katotohanan, wag po tayong padaya, kung sinasabi nating tayo ay may sariling pananampalataya, alamin ang katotohanan pagka’t ito ang magpapalaya sa lahat na bihag ng kasalanan at kasinungalingan
[i]“Ang maging isang tunay na Kristiano ay maging mananampalataya at tagasunod ni Kristo…”[/i]- James307
for more question visit: www.gotquestions.org for Biblical answers.
to know and be warn of the religious cults we will expose them @ www.thebereans.net
And to build Christian friendship and fellowship visit www.christianster.com
Philippines for Jesus!
By: Baptist Church, and 702 DZAS[/b]
@ hazelvee: i understand your sentiment. the world and people can be harsh at times that soemtimes that forgivng and forgetting is no longer thr right thing to do. theyll just do that plastically for some untrue purpose.
lets just bank some more happy memories with our present life and soon all tose hurt and pains will be oustacked by the joyful feelings we well share and have with our families today and in the coming days.
@ pope: sana nga pope i could find that faith and courage to do not just forgive but also move on with my life like nothing has ever happened.
@ rj: siguro nga and i know marami pa jan ang mas worst ang case. well lets see maybe tomorrow maybe next time i could learn to let it all go and be nice .
@ azel: thanks azel. sometimes i get to think about that. can you really be happy in life if you hold some grudges and pains towards some people who have hurt you before. kaya naman pero parang may tinik sa dibdib. yeah tama ka, kelangan ng maraming faith para mawala lahat. in time.
@ ruel: kung bata lang siguro nga tayo. napakadaling magpatawad sa mga taong nagkasala sa atin. pero sadly malalaki na tayo and we know xactly where the pain is coming and why, so mahirap mejo kalimutan na alng basta basta.
talking about this gay bitch thats messing up my name. well he go to hell and i wont let a single ounce of forgiveness accorded to him.
ako man before ay ganyan, lahat ng mga nakasamaan ko ng loob and lahat ng mga taong nagbigay sa akin ng sakit at hinanakit ay laging nakatanim sa puso ko ung galit and kung paano ko sila magagantihan.
pero i reverted to something positive, naging pananaw ko sa buhay to strive harder in life and show them that am growing and making my life better with the help of my family and other friends. sil rin ung nakapagpa move on sa akin para maging mas maayos pa ang buhay ko. i've been to so many pains in life and marami na rin akong nakasalamuhang tao pero i never regret meeting and being with them kasi they added spice to my life and made improvements in my personality and honed my character.
and based on my experience, ung mga galit ko sa ibang tao parang siya rin ung negative vibrations na nakakaapekto sa pang-araw araw kong pamumuhay. kaya kung sakaling me kagalit or kinaiinisan man akong tao, tinatanggal ko na agad siya sa sistema ko and i really wanted to attract positive energies. kung anjan mas siya, good luck sa kaniya pero, in due time din naman e mawawala ang galit na un, and that's part of growing up, di natin pwedeng sabihin na ung sobrang kinaiinisan nating tao e di na natin magiging mabuting kaibigan in the near future, no one can tell what's in store for us few years from now.
to tell u frankly, the people i hated the most in my lifetime sila ang mga true and real friends ko now, kasi alam na namin ung limitations namin. i am not saying na gawin mo what i did, pero malalaman mo yan as days will pass. pero nasa iyo naman iyan if you will still cling to hatred that will make you suffer more kasi anjan siya lagi umuukilkil sa mind mo and brings back the memories of pain he had caused whenever you think of him, or forgive and be happy and take it as a learning experience in life.
pero nasa sa iyo iyan, kung ano ang makakapagpasaya and makakabuti sa iyo, ikaw ang pipili at gagawa ng gusto mo sa buhay mo.
but don't deal with too much hatred as it caused too much pain also. learn how to forgive and you will see the difference.
ciao and be happy
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