Devil Inside Me

“I Can be your good friend until the end”, says the song. I wish. I am probably one of the nicest guy you can ever have for a friend, that is, if fate allows. More than a friend, I can be a caring brother, an ally and a guarantor, my shoulders are broad enough to cry on and my ears are wide enough to listen. I am slightly generous and I share what I have. I believe friends are just one of the few things that money cant’ buy. That explains why true friends are hard to find.

I might just look like a bad guy, but going beyond what meets the eye, one can see the adorable side of my being. I strongly embody the thought that we shouldn’t judge a blog by its lay-out. For inside its pages might lies answers for many of our life questions, the key to simple but genuine happiness and the real events that matter passing unnoticed before our eyes. One can never tell a chest’s treasure by just simply looking at its interior built, one has to unlock the keys and digs for what’s inside.

But I am not a saint, or anyone close to it. Enough said, I can be nice but I can also be harsh and rude, if situations require. I can be your best friend or our worst foe. I don’t usually mess up with trouble, that's one thing that I have not engaged myself with since I was a kid. But last night, my temper was put to a test. Somebody’s (a housemate) accusation has gotten my irk up into my head and what followed was a brilliant, hell-raising, film-like scripted war of words.

An unintentional slight slamming of the door has irritated my housemate, he yelled at me “Galit ka ba at bakit ka nagdadabog?”, I said calmly, “Hinde”. I have no reasons to. In higher voice, “eh bakit kung isara mo yung pinto eh..” Hearing his words again, I didn’t have time to think, nasabi ko na lang, “P…ina mo! Bakit ikaw ba may-ari ng pinto? Natutulog ka ba?”.”Wala akong galit sa ‘yo at wala akong panahon aksayahin ang galit ko sa isang katulad mo, isang ka lang pipitsuging…” My succeeding words were harsh, hard and hurting. Pero gumaganti siya ng pagsagot, bastos daw ako at sumasagot sa matanda”, sabi ko, “di ka dapat respetuhin, matanda ka na nga, wala ka pang pinagkatandaan”. “Wala daw akong pinag-aralan”, gumanti ako nang papilosopo, “hello, ano ba ang tinapos mo?”. Sinabi ko kanya, “Bakit di ka maghanap ng sarili mong bahay hindi yung nakikisiksik ka dito sa amin”. “Tutal matagal ka na dito sa Dubai marahil naman marami ka ng pera at malaki na ang sweldo mo, unless..” Marami pa kaming nakakatuwang pinagsasabi, nakakahiya na lang sabihin yung iba. Nadala lang din ako ng inis at sumpong. Kamalaunan napalitan ng yung galit ko ng tawa at awa, naaawa ako sa kanya kasi alam kong pwede ko siyang patayin sa sama ng loob sa pagsasabi sa kanya ng kung ano ano. Ako pa. Buwisit talaga ako, inaamin ko, pero yun eh, kapag binuwit ako at nabuwisit ako. I am naturally peace loving person and that was just the first time na may muntik na akong ihulog sa 4th floor ng building namin. But of course hindi ko gagawin yun o ang mamisikal, that’s one big NO-NO dito sa Dubai, or else sa selda o sa Pinas ang bagsak ko.

This old man has just transferred to our house recently bringing loads of thing inappropriate for a bedspacer. As if he’s the owner of the room, he rearranged everything inside for his convenience. Next thing we knew, he’s occupying half the room while we pay the same rent. We didn’t say anything as respect to him. But rules were instigated, NO TV. NO LIGHTS. NO MUSIC. NO CELFONE. NO NOISE. Such a tough act to follow but the other four housemates including me has tried to at least abide. But inevitably sometimes you couldn’t be perfect. We would always be warned even for a fairly audible celfone ringtone or some low-toned conversation. Just the same we haven’t reacted violently, as respect to him. But last night, I just couldn’t contained it, he’s just too much to bear.

After the incident, I felt good and I didn’t feel any regret whatsoever. I am proud of what I have done and some people just need a dose of their own medicine. I am nice guy but eruptive and violent when it needs to be. I am not perfect.